Why do children lie?
- Sara Rouk
- 15 במאי 2024
- זמן קריאה 2 דקות
Lies in children are one of the most challenging topics in parenting. It is important to know that this is a natural part of children's development. And most children lie at some point, for various reasons. (like us adults).
A case from the clinic:
Parents came and told about their 9-year-old boy who lies a lot, they shared that because he lies, he already remembers what he told and to whom. The parents shared that they are really frustrated, that it creates a lot of fights at home and they no longer know what to do.
What are the reasons for lies in children:
• Avoiding Punishment:
Avoid negative consequences, such as anger or punishment.
• Gaining an advantage:
Something, like attention, a toy or a snack.
• Protecting themselves or others:
lie in order to protect themselves or others from
Injury, damage.
• Developing imagination:
or creativity.
• Lack of understanding of the concept of truth:
• Social pressure:
• Emotional difficulties:
Confidence.
Understanding the types of lies and what is behind them, such as the reasons and what they are trying to hide, can help us as parents approach and deal with them in a more correct and effective way.
Common types of lies in children:
• White lies:
Example: A child says "I liked the present I got" even though I didn't.
• Black lies:
Example: A child lies about where he was after school.
• Exaggerations:
Example: A boy says he is "the fastest boy in the world".
• Denials:
Example: A child denies breaking an object
• Concealment:
Example: A child does not tell parents about social difficulties at school.
Why does it stress us when a child lies?
It is related to how a lie is perceived by us, to our values, to the house we grew up in, the society we were educated in, life experiences we have accumulated until today, and perhaps it would be more correct to say - to our thinking patterns. We often tend to think that if my child lies to me now then "he will grow up to be a liar and people will not want his company".
From this place, different feelings arise in us, such as:
• Anger:
• Disappointment:
• Concern:
• Shame:
• Helplessness:
so what are we doing? Coping tools:
• Understanding:
hide.
• Conversation:
Lies and their use.
• Setting boundaries:
• Reinforce positive behavior:
• Modeling:
in lies and how much the children are exposed to it at home.
• Patience:
You can also expand and read books, play games and watch content that teaches about lies and truth.
In conclusion:
Lying is a normal part
It is important to note:
If you encounter difficulties and dilemmas as parents, which is normal and completely understandable!
You are welcome to contact me for a free consultation.